


The Enigma of Belonging

by Imperial Desire (maidendays)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama & Romance, M/M, Mutual Pining, Prideshipping, Second Chances, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:11:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9144349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maidendays/pseuds/Imperial%20Desire
Summary: When Atem lost to Yuugi in the Ceremonial Battle, he accepted his fate and prepared himself for his next great journey on the other side. He did not, however, expect to be immediately returned to Yuugi's world. Atem soon discovered that not only was he caught unprepared to be dropped into a new life, but that he could not let go of the past: a past that involved one Seto Kaiba.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yami no Yuugi is called "Atem" in this story.

When Atem had lost the Ceremonial Battle, he had accepted his fate that he no longer belonged in the world of the living. The ancient door had slid open and he had turned back to Yuugi and the others and saluted them in farewell. Smiling sadly and readying himself for his next great adventure, he had stepped through the door, expecting to never see Yuugi's world again.

And then the unexpected had happened. He had found himself entering the same way that he had left, and the door had closed behind him. He was still in the world of the living, and he could no longer see through his hands and arms.

He was corporeal, and Yuugi and the others were shouting in disbelief, Yuugi himself racing toward Atem.

"Other me? You came back?" Yuugi asked, bewildered.

"I left," said Atem with uncertainty, touching his fingers together, amazed that he could feel them. "I don't understand."

"My Pharaoh," said Isis before trailing off to silence. She shook her head as she tried again, "What did you see on the other side?"

"Darkness," said Atem in recollection. "Complete darkness. A void of nothing. There was absolutely nothing there."

"The afterlife," muttered Malik, "Does this mean that it no longer exists, sister? Wouldn't that mean that the Pharaoh cannot leave this plane?"

Atem took a step forward, then another, and another, meeting Yuugi, his hands extended outward. Yuugi took them, shock registering on his face.

"Other me, I can feel you..." Yuugi stated, his round eyes full of wonder. Then he threw his arms around Atem and hugged him tightly, crying into Atem's chest. "You're alive."

Atem registered Yuugi's words as he wrapped both arms around Yuugi and held him close. He inhaled sharply, positively marveled by the fact that he was breathing. He was no longer a spirit. He was  _ alive. _

Yuugi's friends overcame their shock, running up to the pair. Jounouchi touched Atem's shoulder, grinning widely. Honda nodded with a smile. Anzu wrapped her arms around them both and cried.

"Yuugi, what do I do now?" Atem asked, overwhelmed, feeling dual warmth from Anzu's cheek pressed against his forehead and Jounouchi's hand squeezing his shoulder.

Meeting Atem's eyes, his lash line wet with tears, Yuugi answered back with a bright smile, "Anything you want."

~~

After the temple had begun to collapse, Atem and the others had escaped to the outside, turning back to watch the entrance to the ceremonial chamber collapse upon itself. With the chamber sealed, any thoughts that Atem had that he could still depart the world of the living evaporated like the sweat on his skin.

And while Atem thought it marvelous that he could perceive temperature and taste the saliva on his tongue, the Egyptian sands whirled up all around him and the others. Atem covered his mouth and shut his eyes as fine grains dusted over his face. When the sand had settled again, Atem opened his eyes and found himself face to face with one Seto Kaiba.

Kaiba stared at Atem for several long moments before he took in the rest of the group, gaze falling on Yuugi. Then his eyebrows rose and his eyes widened, and he sharply turned his head back to Atem.

It wasn't Kaiba that spoke however but Mokuba who shrieked in surprise. "Two Yuugis!? Wow there really were two of you this whole time!"

Kaiba stared long and hard at Atem for several moments before he grunted and turned away, pivoting on his heel and heading back to his jet. "There's nothing to see here, Mokuba. Let's go," shouted Kaiba, disdain coating his voice, a reaction that Atem did not understand.

Atem felt a new emotion well up within him, one he hadn't felt in a while: anger. "Kaiba!" he shouted, his voice drowned out by the wind.

Kaiba boarded his jet, seemingly ignoring Atem and the others, Mokuba hopping in after him. As the two brothers readied for takeoff, Atem ran toward the jet, his feet carrying him unsteadily over the hot sand. Kaiba did take notice of Atem then, their eyes locking again, and this time a small smirk upturned Kaiba's lips.

Atem felt a pang in his chest as he tried to understand the look in Kaiba's eyes, standing frozen on the sand.

The jet took off, disappearing into the sky, a white thread of contrails streaked across azure.

Atem found himself holding a hand over his chest where he felt his  _ beating heart _ thumping erratically. He did not understand what Kaiba's reaction had meant, but he knew, noting the racing of his heart, that he wanted to find out.

~~

It had been seven months since Atem had returned from Egypt with Yuugi. He spent most days working in the Mutou game shop, tending the front counter while Yuugi was at school. Business was usually slow; sometimes he'd walk across the street to see what was new at Otogi's family store, or he'd pick up Sugoroku's grocery list and restock on whatever the family needed. Other times he'd read gaming magazines, or sketch out concepts for games with the art pencils Yuugi had lended him, or tussle with his maddeningly slow data connection on the low-end cell phone Sugoroku had gifted him.

Life was peaceful, and Atem thought he had found happiness. There was no madman to stop, no high stakes game to win, and no supernatural threat to the world to contend with. Life was... simple. Easy even.

Atem hadn't expected living to be so  _ mundane _ .

He supposed he felt unchallenged. That was probably the biggest complaint he had about his new life. It was predictable and low risk. Atem didn't know if other people felt this way.

When Atem thought of what a happy, good life should be, he thought of those around him. Yuugi seemed content, having recently graduated from high school, and Sugoroku was ailing but kept in good spirits. Anzu always had a smile for him when she dropped by the Mutou home after dance practice, and Jounouchi and Honda were always laughing and happy to see him.

Although he felt that he should be content and thankful for his life, Atem felt deeply guilty that he wasn't. Even so, Atem did his best to adjust to his new life, learning the ways of Japanese culture through observation, picking up other cultural nuances from the movies he rented and the dramas and variety of anime series he watched on TV, and acquainting himself with modern technology. 

However, as the days passed Atem felt more and more unsatisfied. He wanted challenges, thrills, excitement.

In his short time in this world, first as the spirit in Yuugi's body and now as one of the living, Atem had only known one person who could give him what he wanted, and that person was living on the other side of the world.

~~

It had been nearly a year since that day in Egypt when Seto Kaiba had strode into the Kame Game shop on a Saturday with a proposition.

"Collaborate with me on a game design," Kaiba had said, whipping out a stack of file folders from his briefcase, spreading them about the store counter. He had flipped open one, turning it for Yuugi to read, his arms crossed over his chest, looking impossibly cool in a knee-length indigo coat as he had leaned his hip against the glass.

Yuugi had looked back in surprise. "Are you sure that you want to work on this with  _ me? _ " Yuugi had asked, worrying at his lower lip. "Not  _ someone else _ ?"

"I don't see anyone else," Kaiba had said with nonchalance.

"Uh.. hold on.." Yuugi had mumbled back, coming into the kitchen where Atem had been minding the stove and pretending that he hadn't been listening in on their conversation from down the hall. "Hey uh... Kaiba-kun's here. He says he wants to work with me on a project, but I think he really wants to work with  _ you _ . Could you talk to him? I can finish cooking."

Atem had simply nodded, not knowing what he would say to Kaiba. They hadn't seen each other since that day in Egypt. And Atem hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had felt nervous thinking about being alone with Kaiba after so long.

Yuugi had taken over the cooking, which had left Atem with no choice but to swallow down his nerves and meet Kaiba in the store.

"Kaiba," Atem had said softly after he had entered the shop, shutting the door to the inner house behind him. Atem had met Kaiba at the counter and had stared up into guarded blue eyes, wondering for a moment if Kaiba had grown taller in the last year. The veins under the skin below Kaiba's eyes had been clearly visible, as if he hadn't slept well recently, and his complexion had lacked a healthy color. But he had stood stalk straight with an arrogance that Atem recognized, regarding Atem with a studious gaze.

They had stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, not saying a word or moving from their spots, as if neither had known how to proceed, but then Kaiba had broken the stare, gesturing to the file folders with a curt wave of his hand.

"The Kaiba Corporation is nearly ready to release our new generation of attractions at Kaiba Land here in Domino City," Kaiba had begun in a business-like tone, "I have been in America for quite some time, and after coming back to Japan I have realized that I am now unfamiliar with what Japanese people want in gaming. The ideas that I have proposed for new games for this market have not tested well in focus groups, and unless I bring a knowledgeable consultant on board to assist with developing new games, the Kaiba Corporation will have no other option but to shut down the Japanese branch of our Gaming development division. I would rather keep the department in operation."

Atem had flipped through several of the folders with lightly pursed lips, listening to Kaiba's words, and humming and saying  _ Is that so?  _ every now and then to show that he was listening. But when Kaiba had finished speaking without having asked Atem the question that Atem had thought was coming, Atem had felt his apprehension rising.

"What are you asking, Kaiba?"

Kaiba had narrowed his eyes, but his gaze had remained firmly on the folder in Atem's hands. "You're a gamer, and you sell games in the current market so I would believe that you have an understanding of what consumers want. These files contain our latest market research and the concepts for games that failed in the focus groups. You are free to use them to advise the Kaiba Corporation on how to proceed. Will you come on board as a game consultant?"

"Would I be consulting with the Gaming department, or  _ you _ ?" Atem had asked, somehow knowing in his heart that the answer to this question would determine how he would interact with Kaiba forever from this point onward. He had chanced a glance up and had found Kaiba staring into his face again.

"With me," Kaiba had answered in a tone that sounded as if he had said that several times already. "Why would I want to hear your thoughts through a third party?"

Atem had smiled then, gaze lingering on the sharp creases around Kaiba's eyes. "All right, Kaiba. I'll help you."

~~

In the weeks after their initial meeting, Kaiba had called Atem to the Kaiba Corporation on the same day at the same time every week: Friday. In those early weeks Atem had sat in on company meetings, listening to company employees pitch their ideas, and generally drawing as little attention to himself as possible. Kaiba himself had rarely attended those meetings, appearing once or twice to listen in on product pitches before leaving again to attend to matters elsewhere. Atem had never realized how busy Kaiba had always been with his company, although he had noted to himself more than once that failing to acknowledge Kaiba's work ethic because of his past obsessions over Duel Monsters was doing a great disservice to Kaiba as the chairman of the company.

And then after a month of meetings Kaiba had, finally, called Atem up to the top floor of the Kaiba Corporation building and asked him to share his thoughts on the Gaming department's ideas and to gauge the department's possibility of success.

"They are definitely hard-working people, although I question some of their focuses," Atem had said as he had sat in the leather chair opposite Kaiba's executive desk.

"Elaborate," Kaiba had replied, all business. He had leaned back in his massive executive chair, crossing his arms over his chest in a manner that Atem thought KaibaCorp employees would find imposing and powerful, but Atem himself thought was casual for Kaiba. After all, he had seen Kaiba at his most threatening during their duels when he was still the spirit in Yuugi's body.

Atem had considered his words for a moment, recalling his interactions with customers at Kame Game. "They are out of touch with the desires of children. They are so very focused on the wants of parents and retailers, which I believe is important, but they are not taking into account what kinds of games kids want to play. I think that's a big problem. They should take into consideration more than the trends they've observed in their market data. Children are not numbers or points on a graph. They are real people with preferences and opinions."

"What would you suggest then?" Kaiba had replied in an interested tone.

"The people in the Gaming department should go out and speak to kids on the street about what they want for Christmas. Really listen to the kids. I believe that once they understand how children think then they can begin to create great games again."

Kaiba had nodded, shifting one knee over the other. "I spent several years in the city orphanage here in Domino City, did you know that?"

When Atem had replied that he hadn't, Kaiba had continued in a somewhat pained tone, although it could have been sleep deprivation seeping into his voice instead.

"The caretakers only taught us the bare minimum to comply with the city's education standards. The adults rarely listened to us. I proposed ideas for lesson plans, but they ignored me. After a while I didn't speak up anymore. When news broke that Gozaburo Kaiba was planning on visiting the orphanage, I made it my main goal to impress him. I realized that if I could impress a powerful man like him then he might listen to my ideas. Furthermore, he might consider adopting Mokuba and me. When I won that game of chess against him, he was furious but indeed impressed. With his agreement to adopt us I thought that the time of adults ignoring what I wanted was over..." 

Kaiba had trailed off suddenly, his eyes narrowing as if he was angry that he had said more than he had intended. When Atem had simply nodded his reply, Kaiba had visibly relaxed, taking some of the tension out of his arms although he did not uncross them.

"Your idea is a good one. Speaking to the children of Domino City is smart. I will discuss this with the Gaming department immediately," Kaiba had concluded. Then the smallest trace of approval appeared on his face before it vanished again. "How's your schedule for tomorrow?"

The question had thrown off Atem and his eyes had widened ever so slightly as he had asked, "I suppose I was going to go shopping. Why?"

"Have dinner with me and Mokuba tomorrow night," Kaiba had stated, in a tone that left no room to decline.

"Dinner?"

"At the manor. I'll send a car to your home. Was I wrong to think you aren't busy?"

Harsh arrogance. It was familiar, reminiscent of the Kaiba that Atem had known in the past, and Atem could respond to  _ this _ Kaiba better than the businessman persona that Kaiba had consistently worn around Atem over the past month.

"All right," Atem had answered, feeling that something was changing between them but rather puzzled over what it could be.

~~

It was with nervous anticipation that Atem found himself in Kaiba's home, quietly eating a delicious meal while Mokuba eagerly told his older brother about his day and Kaiba responded in kind, discussing the latest profit margins and his plans for expanding the Kaiba Land parks to Europe. Atem was surprised that the brothers would discuss school and work at home when there were much less mundane things to talk about, but he supposed that in a business-based family this would be the norm. With how small the boy was, it was sometimes easy to forget that Mokuba was the Kaiba Corporation's second in command. Atem felt foolish for underestimating him; he himself had been a teen when he'd assumed the throne in that past life he felt so disconnected from.

Still he was surprised all the same when Mokuba addressed him directly.

"Yuu...  _ Atem _ , sorry that's going to take some getting used to." Mokuba looked away in embarrassment for a moment before he turned back with a small smile. "What do you think of virtual arcades?"

"Virtual?"

"Yea, like all the games are connected to VR helmets and people in the arcades can play against each other locally. I think it sounds cool. Nii-sama has always wanted to build something like that, but new gen duel disks and single sale VR games have been far more profitable for the company."

Atem turned to Kaiba, who was eating his meal in silence now. With no input from him, Atem nodded to Mokuba, expression neutral. "Yea, that sounds like it could be a lot of fun. What kind of games would you want to play?"

Mokuba grinned widely. "RPGs and racing games are pretty fun. I still like games with collectible aspects. But if I'm honest, lately I've grown more interested in the survival horror genre. It's a bit too much for a lot people, but I think it's fun to be scared by monsters, zombies and ghosts. As long as it isn't  _ too real _ , you know?"

Atem knew what Mokuba meant, guilt gathering in his gut. "Mokuba, I..."

Mokuba shook his head. "Don't worry about that. The past is the past, right? We look only to the future at Kaiba Corp, right Nii-sama?"

Kaiba grunted his affirmation and Mokuba's grin only grew wider.

"Nii-sama has told me that you've been advising the Gaming department?"

"I've put in my input when I've felt it's appropriate, but I've mostly been observing how the department functions and noting where I believe improvements could be made."

"Right, right. Nii-sama said that you proposed asking the city's kids about what they would want for Christmas. I think that's a great idea! We're still four months out from Christmas, which would be cutting it very close, but I think that if we got a new game on store shelves by early December we could save the department. I really don't want to see it close. There's still so much that we can offer."

Atem took a moment to think, and then he asked, "Does the department make any of the technology for the games?"

"No, that's our Research and Development department. Why?"

"Duel Monsters has evolved so much since Yuugi started playing it. The newer, more complex rules and advanced game mechanics are difficult for younger children to comprehend. Parents visiting Kame Game have complained to me about this in the past. What about developing an online game that utilizes VR input and KaibaCorp's existing duel disks to teach children how to play Duel Monsters?"

"That's a bit out of the range of the Gaming department's scope, but I suppose we could bring in R&D as well..." Mokuba's eyes brightened then. "Oh hey! If we updated the game server every few months, we could stay on top of whatever Industrial Illusions puts out. Duel Monsters is still the most popular game out there. Nii-sama, what do you think? Would three and half months be enough time to develop this?"

Kaiba swallowed down his last bite, setting down his fork. He straightened his back, lowering his shoulders, his lips twitching as if he was fighting against his own expression. "It's not impossible."

Mokuba's grin returned with full force. "Nothing is impossible for my big brother!"

Atem nodded his agreement, Mokuba's infectious smile encouraging him to grin in turn. "Let's do it then!"

~~

Rather than only sending out the Gaming department to speak to the children of Domino City, Mokuba, Atem, and even Kaiba himself spent several days traveling around the city's various schools, community centers, parks and shopping areas. Their final stop was the Domino City orphanage where Kaiba seemed to withdraw into himself, standing by the wall watching Mokuba play with the kids.

An imposing figure in his trademark white coat, Kaiba towered over the children, wearing a scowl. He was curt with the orphanage's staff, but Atem couldn't fault him for it. Kaiba had made himself vulnerable when he had told Atem about his time within these walls. Atem supposed that for Kaiba being here again brought up painful memories he'd rather suppress.

But Kaiba was nothing but kind to the children when they finally approached him, dropping down to one knee to be on their level as he talked to them in low tones.

"What kind of games do you like?" Kaiba asked one small boy who couldn't be older than five or six.

"Duel Monsters!" the boy shouted in excitement.

And then something remarkable happened: Kaiba smiled as he said, "Me too. What's your favorite monster?"

"Black Magician," shouted the boy even louder, giggling.

Atem barely contained his chuckle at that, charmed by the way that Kaiba clenched his jaw in reaction.

"Not dragons?" replied Kaiba.

"Spellcasters are cool!" exclaimed a little girl to Kaiba's left.

Atem knelt on the carpet beside Kaiba. "I like them too," he said with a wink, giving Kaiba a sly glance.

Kaiba stared back at him, smile gone. "This is Pegasus's fault. He hasn't released any awe-inspiring dragons in the last year."

Atem's shoulders shook in his mirth. "That  _ must _ be why."

~~

By October Kaiba had created a working prototype for a miniaturized VR headset that would come bundled with the game. Although they had worked together many times in the last month and half, Atem had never actually been alone with Kaiba while they were working, some employee or another passing through, a constant buzz of activity in the background.

On this day however Kaiba had specifically requested that Atem stay late to test the headset. As day rolled over to night and the company's workforce filtered out of the building, the halls became quieter and the atmosphere, Atem realized, more intimate.

Atem stood in the center of a massive room in R&D, staying as still as possible while Kaiba connected monitoring equipment to his fingers, wrists and torso. All for his safety, of course, as Kaiba explained in a low tone that the VR system could be used by higher level duelists in addition to children, issuing them challenges beyond the basic tutorial levels. Atem wondered if Kaiba had already had this in mind when he had begun work on the prototype.

"What would the experience be like for a higher level duelist?" Atem asked, not sure if he truly wanted to hear the answer.

"The game will scale to the player's age and past duel experience. The older and more experienced the player, the more realistic and dangerous the in-game encounters, with little to no instruction issued in the levels. However, the game is not being marketed to people over the age of 12, and, as such, the level of realism and potential for danger will be capped for public release."

"And it's safe?" Atem asked, clarifying with, "For high level players?"

"Like yourself?"

Atem nodded then stilled his head when Kaiba knelt to his level to adjust the wiring on Atem's bare chest. Having Kaiba so close made his heart race. Atem recalled that day in Egypt, his gaze fixated on Kaiba's lips.

"Perhaps not," said Kaiba without pause, "Of course I could also install a special edition of the game at Kaiba Land and showcase a mobile version at special events. It would be at those type of places that high level, older players could be allowed to play the game without the danger cap."

Atem shivered, a reaction caused by any number of things; he wasn't sure which was the culprit. "Will you be turning on the safeguards tonight?"

"Would you like me to?" asked Kaiba in a whisper, his face hovering close to Atem's.

It didn't take long for Atem to realize that this conversation had taken a dangerous turn. He pulled back physically, Kaiba's fingers slipping from the monitoring nodes to brush against Atem's skin. Then he pulled back mentally too, picturing the death simulation chamber at Death-T, his shattering of Kaiba's heart coming to the forefront before it melded into an overarching vision of the monster that Atem had been in those early days.

"Yes," said Atem, breathless. "Turn on the safeguards."

Atem watched as Kaiba's fingers traced the wires connecting from Atem's shoulder to his arm. His fingers lingered on Atem's wrist, turning it over and checking the placement of the node there. Again Atem shivered from the touch, but now his fixation with having Kaiba so close was grouped with anticipation and guilt.

"Kaiba.."

Kaiba met Atem's eyes then, his voice shaking ever so slightly, the cause unapparent. "Are you ready?"

Atem nodded. "Start the game."

~~

November was full of system tests and late nights at the Kaiba Corporation. While Atem had grown to enjoy consulting for the Kaiba Corporation and even more so being in Kaiba's exclusive company whenever they tested the VR system together, some of Kaiba's behavior had begun to worry him. The dark circles that Atem had noticed during their initial meeting in Kame Game two months ago had never left, and, in fact, they seemed darker now, suggesting that he was getting even less sleep than before. Kaiba never seemed to eat, and he rarely took breaks, sitting at his deck with hunched shoulders typing for hours on end, seemingly never moving from that position whenever Atem dropped by his office.

Atem hadn't thought it was his place to comment on these concerns. He and Kaiba weren't friends, and despite many moments they'd shared that seemed to suggest that Kaiba might be interested in him beyond their established working relationship and history as rivals, Atem hadn't thought they were  _ close enough _ for him to overstep the social boundary that separated them.

However as the month went on, it became more apparent that Kaiba's health was suffering, his pallor striking. During joint Gaming and R&D department meetings, Kaiba seemed distracted, rarely interrupting employee presentations with his input, seemingly in his own world. On several days Atem had passed by Kaiba's office and overheard him shouting, and he'd noticed the cautious way that employees filtered in and out of Kaiba's office as if they were dodging landmines. Even Mokuba, surprisingly, seemed to tread carefully around Kaiba these days. While Atem quietly read on Kaiba's office couch one afternoon, he observed Kaiba behind his desk, repeatedly gripping his hair while in thought, typing furiously, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his hand moving like an automaton for his coffee mug. And whenever he and Atem shared a look, there always seemed to be a storm brewing in Kaiba's eyes.

Eventually Atem found that he could no longer ignore the signs, and so one evening in the R&D testing room while playing through a fusion summoning tutorial, Atem paused the game and lifted the VR headset from his head, rotating his chair around toward Kaiba. 

"Kaiba.." Atem began cautiously, not wishing to annoy the other man. "We should take a break."

"Why ever?" said Kaiba with a grunt, intensely focused on the monitoring console screens.

"We've been at this for 6 hours now, and you were working on this even before I came into work today. You didn't take lunch. Aren't you hungry?"

"I'm fine."

"Kaiba.. Why don't we break for dinner?" Atem suggested, his voice softer, more gentle.

"If you're hungry, you can use the company account to order something."

Atem stood from the chair, trying not to wring his hands in frustration. "This isn't about me, Kaiba. We're a complete week ahead of schedule, and you work much too hard. You should eat."

"I said I'm fine."

Atem sighed. "Kaiba.."

"What!?" Kaiba barked suddenly, causing Atem to recoil in surprise.

"I didn't mean to..." Atem trailed off, feeling like he'd taken one step too far over the social boundary, and considered the very real possibility that Kaiba might shut him out. He'd tried so hard to absorb the social nuances of this culture.

"Tch... Listen.. It's fine," Kaiba growled out, contracting his words.

"You're mad.. I.."

"Why would I be..." Kaiba trailed off, his gaze turning especially fierce. "Why are you acting like this?" Kaiba demanded.

"I don't understand," said Atem, lost.

"You're different. It's pissing me off," Kaiba added, snarling.

"Pa.. pardon..?"   
  
"That. That right there. That caution. What happened to that person who challenged me at every turn? What happened to that person who once so vehemently told me that if I did not overcome my rage then I would never win? With patience I have waited for that person to return. I thought I would see him again, but I don't recognize him in  _ you _ ."

Atem stood stunned, frozen. He didn't know what to say.

All this time that he'd been worried about Kaiba, Kaiba had been thinking about him. Atem wondered how he could have misread Kaiba's expectations to such a disastrous degree.

"You're right..." began Atem some time later, recovering from the weight of Kaiba's words and feeling less affected by Kaiba's angry gaze. "I  _ have  _ changed."

"I want that person back," Kaiba declared, his gaze losing some of its fiery edge.

Atem hoped that  _ now _ he was interpreting the meaning of Kaiba's words accurately. "This isn't me."

"That person wouldn't have suggested that I eat. That person would have marched up, glared into my eyes, and  _ demanded _ that I eat."

Atem shook his head, feeling some of his anxiety melting away. He smiled at the floor, trying to remember what it had felt like to be that confident person that Kaiba wanted him to be.

Atem tittered .  "I know now.. I know why it all felt so wrong." Then he looked up when a shadow abruptly blocked out some of the room's bright florescent lighting. Kaiba was standing over him now, his stare demanding.

Atem swallowed. "I've tried to adjust to life. I kept feeling like it was wrong of me to expect more from living than what I was granted. I  _ shouldn't _ be here." Atem registered the crack in his voice. " _ I was never supposed to come back. _ "

Atem realized that the stormy emotion that he'd seen in Kaiba's eyes so many times in the past month had been frustration, and he felt it now too. Frustration with  _ himself _ .

When Kaiba closed the gap between them, crushing his mouth against Atem's in a demanding kiss, Atem wasn't surprised. Rather he felt like he'd found the missing final piece to a puzzle that he hadn't known he'd been trying so desperately to solve ever since he had been granted this new life. It all made  _ sense _ again.

Atem parted his lips, returning the kiss with angry intensity, all of the parts of himself that he'd been suppressing since that day in Egypt rising back to the surface, like the Nile inundating after years of drought. He gripped the front of Kaiba's suit, the fabric bunching in his hand, and felt a firm hand settle into the small of his back. It felt so good to  _ feel _ again.

"Thank you Kaiba..." Atem whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Thank you for reminding me of my best self."

Breath warmed his ear, strong fingers gripping his chin, beautiful blue eyes softening. Kaiba's thumb dabbed at the corners of his eyes, halting the flow of tears, drying them.

"Never forget again," Kaiba murmured, hints of ice in his voice.

Atem nodded, laughing in his relief. Kaiba held him for a long time.   


~~

By early December, Kaiba's health had improved drastically; color had returned to his cheeks, the circles under his eyes had become far less visible. It seemed that he'd been ruining himself, unintentionally Atem hoped, in his frustration, and that he'd been failing to take care of himself in his intense mulling over why Atem had changed from the person that he remembered.

Although they kissed sometimes, usually in Kaiba's office where there were no security cameras to record their intimacy, Kaiba didn't touch him much, not much more than before anyway. Even so, Atem was happy to see the subtle changes in Kaiba's overall demeanor. He truly enjoyed spending time around Kaiba, even if their level of interaction on any given day consisted purely of sharing the same workspace while Atem read over Gaming department reports or played through game levels and Kaiba coded in additional game functionality or refined the tutorial levels based on Atem's input.

Mokuba had proven to be quite capable, having organized and designed the marketing campaign for the game as well as the product packaging almost entirely on his own. Kaiba was undeniably very proud of his little brother even if his face remained as impassive as ever; Atem had learned to read Kaiba's emotions through his microexpressions.

By the end of the first week of the month the game had been practically finished. Children from all over the city were invited to the Kaiba Corporation to play the game for what Kaiba said would be the final but most important phase of testing. Atem was relieved to see that throughout the testing day the reaction from the children and their parents had been overwhelmingly positive. He felt proud to have been part of the creation of a product that he could so clearly see bringing joy to so many people.

After making a final round of adjustments, Kaiba and his employees brought the game's first three servers online.

On the day before the game's official release date, the Kaiba Corporation threw a formal dress release party. Talented duelists from all around the prefecture and the city's game and toy retailers alike were invited for the unveiling. Kaiba had set up a live demo of the game for the attendees to play, and was circling the hall taking suggestions for future game updates.

To Atem's complete surprise, Yuugi, who he had known in advance would be coming to the party, arrived in a suit wearing his duel disk. Before Atem could greet him however the lights all turned off at once, and then a single spotlight over the stage flashed on revealing Kaiba wearing his duel disk as well. Yuugi joined him on the stage, they shook hands, and commenced a duel to the surprised delight of the crowd. Atem watched as Yuugi's Silent Magician LV4 morphed into Silent Magician LV8, a confident smile on Yuugi's face. Atem was overcome by a wave of nostalgia when Kaiba's Blue-Eyes White Dragon graced the stage, blowing away Yuugi's front line. The duel eventually ended in a draw; perhaps they had scripted it to end in that manner, after all it would reflect poorly on their reputations to see either of them bested outside of a formal tournament setting.

After shaking Kaiba's hand once more and posing for a photo-op, Yuugi made his way over to Atem, joining him by the refreshments.

"That was splendid duel, Yuugi."

"Hehe.. thanks," said Yuugi with a grin. "Kaiba-kun is as impressive as ever. I can see why you admire him so much."

Atem felt his face flush, distracting his mouth with a long sip of champagne.

"I want to play  _ Duelist Realm _ ," said Yuugi with a small chuckle. "With how little I've seen you this last month it has to be good."

Atem laughed, patting Yuugi on the shoulder and leading him toward the live demo of the game. "I know you'll love it, Yuugi." His gaze found Kaiba's across the hall, Kaiba smirking back at him. "I know I do."

~~

_ Duelist Realm  _ arrived on store shelves to critical acclaim and consumer fanfare, selling out its limited first print release in a matter of hours. Energized by this success, the Kaiba Corporation went into full production mode, the Gaming department pushing out another twenty thousand copies of the game just in time for Christmas. Kaiba, various department heads and several representatives from Industrial Illusions met to finalize a schedule, pledging to release a new game update every three months from then on.

"We did it!" exclaimed Mokuba with a pump of his fist into the air. "KaibaCorp Gaming is back!"

"You should be proud," said Atem to Mokuba, raising his drink to the crowd of department heads at the company's Christmas party, "Everyone should be very proud! Here's to everyone!"

A chorus of  _ Cheers! _ rang out through the room, the usually reserved employees becoming rowdy in their celebration and drunken merriment. Even Kaiba himself, still legally underage, partook in a glass of champagne, almost smiling at the way that Mokuba raced around the room in his glee.

"Congratulations," said Atem to Kaiba, joining him in the center of the crowd. "You saved the Gaming department."

"We all did," said Kaiba.

Later that day, just after the sun had set, Atem stood with Kaiba in the Domino City main square. An ornate Christmas tree adorned the center, taller than the lamp posts that surrounded the square, towering over the iconic clock. And upon it the most beautiful lights Atem had ever seen; little glowings of gold and silver blinking like tiny stars between the branches. All around them were Domino City's residents playing in the falling snow, children making angels in the sea of white, couples huddled close under the glow of the tree.

Yuugi met them by the clock, bundled in a scarf and gloves, his nose bright red from the cold. Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda and Bakura caught up with him, each of them greeting Atem with  _ Merry Christmas _ . Mokuba popped in, Isono tailing him but remaining in the background. They formed a circle, eight people gazing around at each other.

"So here we are everyone, another year nearly over, one year older, all friends," said Jounouchi, dramatic, giving a side glance to Kaiba. "Well most of us."

"It's crazy to think that in just a few months it'll have been a whole year since we graduated from high school," said Anzu, blowing on her gloved hands and rubbing them together. "I'll be leaving for New York soon. I finalized my arrangements on an apartment this week."

"Congratulations Anzu!" said Atem, giving her a thumbs up. Pulling up his jacket collar to warm his neck, he turned to Yuugi, realizing that they hadn't talked much in the last month. "What about you, Yuugi?"

"I've thought about attending Domino University, actually," said Yuugi shyly, hopping from foot to foot in the snow, attempting to warm himself. "I didn't study much in high school, but I've been going back through the material lately, and I think I have a real shot at passing the entrance exam."

"College huh?" mused Mokuba, pressing his cheek into Kaiba's arm. Kaiba settled his hand on Mokuba's shoulder.

Yuugi nodded. "I love dueling, don't get me wrong, but I've been thinking hard about this for a while now and I don't know if I'd want to do that for a living."

Kaiba surprised everyone by muttering, "Neither would I."

"Your guys' duel at the  _ Duelist Realm _ release party was awesome though," said Bakura, adjusting his scarf. "You really don't want to duel anymore?"

Yuugi shrugged. "Not professionally anyway."

Honda scratched his chin, saying thoughtfully, "Doesn't seem like it'd be for everyone. How 'bout you, Atem?"

With all eyes on him, Atem mirrored Yuugi's shrug. "Dueling professionally?" He looked up at Kaiba who stared down at him, face impassive. "I've enjoyed my time at KaibaCorp. There may be a career for me in game design."

Mokuba's grin was infectious as ever, the whole group of teens breaking out into smiles.

"We'd love to have you. Right, Nii-sama?"

Kaiba nodded, curt. "I suppose I could find a place for him."

Atem stifled a laugh.

"Come on Yuugi, I want to dance!" declared Anzu suddenly, grabbing Yuugi's hand and whisking him away.

"Look at her go! Hahaha he's so embarrassed!!" Honda shouted, punching Jounouchi in the shoulder and grinning at Atem.

The circle dispersed as Yuugi's friends made their way over to the performance stage. Kaiba turned to his little brother, and they exchanged a look. Mokuba's head bobbed in enthusiasm and he ran over to Isono, striking up a conversation with him.

Alone again, Kaiba turned to Atem, his gaze inviting. Atem thought his lips looked especially kissable under the glow of the Christmas tree.

"Christmas is for lovers, isn't it?" began Atem, an air of mystery to his voice. "There's still so much I don't know. But I'd like to experience it... with you."

Atem found himself getting lost in Kaiba's brilliant blue eyes.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that... Atem."

Kaiba's use of his name, the first time he'd said it, caused Atem to grin. Feeling encouraged, Atem replied with, "Seto."

A look of surprise crossed Kaiba's face, but then he nodded once in acknowledgement and smiled, small but beautiful.

Warmth spread through Atem's chest.

~~

An hour to midnight on New Year's Eve, Atem had settled in with Yuugi for an action movie marathon when his cell phone rang. Excusing himself from the living room with an apologetic smile, he slipped into the hallway.

"Happy New Year, Mokuba," greeted Atem in a cheery voice.

"Hi Atem! Happy New Year! Hey I hope this isn't too much to ask but I'm spending the night at a friend's house and Nii-sama is alone at KaibaCorp. I told him that he shouldn't be working during the holidays but when he gets busy on a project he tends to tune everyone else out. As his friend, I mean you are friends now, right?"

"I suppose we are," said Atem without giving anything away.

"Right so since you're his friend could you check in on him? Make sure he isn't overworking himself? It's New Year's Eve. He shouldn't be alone. Sorry to ask this of you. I would do it myself but I made these plans with my friend months ago and.."

Atem interrupted the rambling preteen with a soft chuckle, "I'll check on him, Mokuba."

"You're the best! Thank you so much! Have a good night!" Mokuba exclaimed before ending the call.

Apologizing to Yuugi and Sugoroku for leaving suddenly, Atem called for a taxi and arrived at the Kaiba Corporation a short while later, using his access key card to let himself into the building. Riding the elevator to the top floor, Atem strode up to Kaiba's office door and knocked.

A rustle and clatter sounded from behind the door before it opened, Kaiba staring down imposing at him. His eyes softened a moment later as he took in Atem's form in the darkness.

"Atem? What are you doing here?"

"Mokuba called me."

"Mokuba?" Kaiba repeated, sounding tired. "I should have guessed. Come in."

Kaiba, dressed in the outfit he had worn at the Battle City minus the coat, turned on his heel and made his way back over to his desk. Atem stepped into the office, shut the door behind him and took in an organized chaos of metal fragments, stacks of paper and thick cables running about the room. At the center was a table with Kaiba's laptop on it, the computer's glow the brightest light in the room.

"What is all of this?" Atem asked, taking a seat on the office couch, picking up an odd metal shape from the floor.

"Preliminary plans for a VR duel network."

Examining the shape, Atem thought it looked like half of an egg. Puzzled, he set it back down on the floor as he asked, "VR? Different than  _ Duelist Realm _ ?"

"Picture it: duels in virtual reality with duelists from all around the world in real time. An interconnected network of duels available 24 hours a day where language isn't a barrier and anyone can duel regardless of their skill level or past real world tournament experience."

Atem recalled Mokuba's idea for a VR arcade and thought that what Kaiba had just described sounded better. He smiled. "That sounds incredible."

Kaiba grunted, shuffling papers on his desk, sounding proud. "Technology is finally catching up to my vision. This is an exciting time to be in the tech sector."

"And you want to use this new technology to create something so intricate. You're amazing, Seto."

Atem thought he saw Kaiba smile but it was hard to tell in the dim light.

"What did Mokuba ask of you?"

"He thinks you're working too hard. Wanted me to check in on you."

"Well you're here. Now what?"

Atem froze, realizing that in his desire to see Kaiba he had accepted Mokuba's request without a plan for what to do after. He was here in Kaiba's office on New Year's Eve fully aware of the next threshold they could cross together, but he had been wholly unprepared to find himself in a situation where it could happen. He realized rather quickly, his cheeks flushing red, that Mokuba had played him, the sly kid, and from the knowing looking in Kaiba's eyes he seemed to be fully aware of it too.

"Your brother is very cunning," Atem said with an embarrassed laugh.

"I know," said Kaiba, stepping back from his desk. "I've learned not to underestimate him."

"So.." Atem said trailing off, uncertain. He knew that he liked Kaiba. And he knew that he liked kissing Kaiba too. He  _ really _ liked kissing Kaiba. But...

Kaiba shuffled with something in his desk drawer then made his way over to Atem, staring down at him, gaze stormy.

Atem bit his lip. "So.." he began again, "I don't know much about this world, but I've seen enough romance movies to know where this type of scenario tends to go."

"Which scenario is that?" asked Kaiba, barely above a whisper.

"The one where two people are alone together in the dark on New Year's Eve."

And then Kaiba was kissing him, leaning over him on the couch, taking his breath away, his hand sliding up under Atem's shirt. Atem undid his jeans, sliding them down past his hips, biting Kaiba's lower lip, pulling a groan from him. Kaiba helped Atem remove his shirt, sucking on his skin, teasing a dark nipple with his tongue and teeth.

"Se.. to..."

Kaiba distracted Atem's mouth with another kiss while he rubbed him through his black briefs, teasing him with curious fingers. Atem broke away in protest, yanking Kaiba to him by hooking his fingers into the belt loops at Kaiba's waist, hungrily unbuckling his belt and zipping down Kaiba's slacks in one frustrated movement. Then he slid his jeans further down his legs with his hands and then with the heels of his leather boots to his ankles, moving Kaiba in between his spread legs, pressing their groins together.

"Atem.."

Atem put one finger to Kaiba's lips to silence him, gesturing south with his eyes, laying his head back against the leather armrest and sighing when Kaiba hooked his fingers under Atem's briefs and yanked them down with force. Exposed to air for a short moment, Atem gasped then groaned louder when Kaiba's warm palm closed around him.

Capturing Kaiba's lips once more, kissing him hard enough to bruise, his fingers slid into Kaiba's slacks and shoved them down his hips, sliding his hands over Kaiba's ass while Kaiba worked him with his hand. When Kaiba broke the kiss, he stood from the couch, unbuckling and yanking off the straps on his legs, and dropped his slacks to the floor, picking them up and laying them over the other armrest. He did away with his silky boxers as well, then picked up one of the discarded straps, placed it between his teeth, and leaned back over Atem, uncapping and setting aside the thing had he taken from his desk, a bottle of lube, small enough that it was likely a product sample that Kaiba had received and forgotten about until now.

Atem found himself hopelessly fixated on the head of Kaiba's semi-hard cock, completely failing to miss the way that Kaiba guided Atem's hands together and bound his wrists with the strap, buckling it. Tugging at his restrained hands, Atem gazed up at Kaiba with startled eyes, his tongue wetting his lips, both fascinated and taken aback by the turn of events.

"Did you just...?"

"Don't like it?" asked Kaiba in a tone that implied that he would listen to Atem if he said that he wanted the strap removed.

"I.. didn't say that..."

Kaiba smirked in a way that was entirely too sexy and sent a wave of pleasure straight to Atem's neglected cock. "Then yes, I did."

"....you've done this before," Atem accused with a raise of his eyebrows, although the gesture looked far less judging with the way that his head hung to the side and his tongue repeatedly wet his lips.

"Never," said Kaiba immediately, cupping his palm and dripping lube into it, dropping the bottle onto the floor without care.

"Then how..? Oh." Atem blushed, feeling dumb for not realizing that the raunchy magazines and videos that Jounouchi and Honda would sometimes lend to Yuugi might also interest Kaiba. At least he hoped that's where Kaiba had picked up this very mature knowledge.

Kaiba didn't comment, rubbing his palms together and coating his fingers. A hand reached between Atem's thighs, spreading them apart wider and dipping a finger inside.

Atem clenched in surprise but the intrusion was not entirely unwelcome. "Aaaahh... Se..to.."

"Tonight, call me Kaiba."

That request brought Atem into a different state of mind, back into the head of the person that Kaiba had fought so passionately on the dueling field at the Battle City. He didn't think that he'd ever be as unyielding and uncompromisingly proud as that person had been, but for Kaiba's sake he could certainly play the role.

Atem gave Kaiba his most smug grin. "Do your worst... Kaiba.."

A haughty look crossed over Kaiba's face. He stretched Atem with his fingers and then filled him with his cock, Kaiba clenching his teeth and hissing out as he eased into the tightness.

"Haaah... come on Kaiba... you can do better than that," Atem taunted around his discomfort. "Show me your true power."

Atem wrapped his bound wrists around Kaiba's neck, drawing him in closer for a rough kiss, clinging to him as Kaiba began to move.

Kaiba drove into him with vigor, thrusting relentlessly. Atem's heated skin stuck to the leather, the friction pulling him from behind as Kaiba pressed him down from above. Kaiba spread Atem's thighs wider and wider until it burned and Atem had to cry out  _ that's as far as it will go Kaiba _ , thrusting into him deeper, maintaining a punishing pace, leaving shallow bites on Atem's chin and neck and shoulders.

"Kaiba... Kaiba!" Atem cried out over and over again, the breathy, wanton way that he said Kaiba's name embarrassing him even as it pushed Kaiba to reward him with angled, shallow thrusts that slammed deliciously into  _ that spot  _ where he felt most good.

"If I had known that you would be this vocal I'd have never left for America," Kaiba growled into Atem's ear.

Atem answered him with another cry of pleasure, his wrists unintentionally knocking into Kaiba's head, but he couldn't be bothered to apologize, not when Kaiba was demolishing the last of his reservations.

Spurred on by a carnal desire he couldn't explain, Atem shoved Kaiba up and then pushed him into the couch, straddling him, impaling himself back onto Kaiba's cock with a breathy moan.

"Unbound me, Kaiba," he commanded, feeling all at once powerful and invincible, as though he could still call upon the wrath of the shadows.

Kaiba stared up at him in a mix of anger and wonder, unbuckling the strap and tossing it to the floor even as he glared up at Atem in challenge.

With his hands freed, Atem gripped Kaiba's shoulders, pressing him down into the leather.

"Why are you still wearing this?" Atem demanded, nudging his index finger into the center of Kaiba's clothed chest. "Take it off."

As Kaiba unbuckled the straps on his arms, a wary look crossed over Kaiba's face. "Don't pity me," he whispered, sounding pained.

"Why would I?" asked Atem, backing off from the power-play when he registered that something was wrong.

Kaiba seemed to compose himself a moment later, pulling his turtleneck sweater off and draping it over the back of the couch.

Atem understood immediately, seeing the shallow, glossy, aged scars scattered about Kaiba's chest, shoulders and neck; disturbing impressions left behind by a trained torturer.

"Oh Kaiba..." Atem whispered as a wave of sadness and then anger overwhelmed him. But even as he was furious with Gozaburo for hurting Kaiba that way, he was more angry with the him that had once called Yuugi's body home; angry at himself for allowing the vengeful spirit he had been to take out his rage on Kaiba time and time again, for using Kaiba as a target for his frustrations and deeper issues.

As his self-loathing gave over to compassion, Kaiba's pain became his own. Now for an entirely different reason he wished to bring Kaiba pleasure, to distract him from the vulnerability that clouded his beautiful blue eyes, a vulnerability that both hurt and angered Atem to see in eyes that were normally so proud.

Suddenly it dawned on Atem that now he fully understood why Kaiba had nearly ruined himself waiting for Atem to show signs of returning to the person he had been before that day in Egypt. Kaiba had wanted his rival back, and now Atem wanted back the Kaiba he knew.

Atem gathered Kaiba's wrists in his hands and cupped Kaiba's palms around his cheeks, smiling down at him with tenderness. "I don't think any less of you, Seto. You've welcomed me into your life, and given me a place to belong. I accept you, scars, foolish stubbornness and all."

He gave Kaiba some time to process his words, and only when it seemed that Kaiba had taken them to heart, the vulnerability fading from his gaze, did Atem give into his own desire, making Kaiba his, riding him toward orgasm, enjoying the way that Kaiba grunted and groaned below him.

As midnight arrived, the sounds of their shared pleasure were drowned out by fireworks ringing in the new year. Red, blue, green, magenta and gold illuminated Kaiba's office in rapid succession, highlighting Kaiba's sharp features and painting his pale skin with brief flashes of color. And as he and Kaiba crossed over into completion, Atem's heart was filled with the same warmth that he had felt on Christmas Eve, a wonderful emotion that he recognized in his elation was...

"I love you," Atem shouted over the fireworks, willing Kaiba to hear him over the chorus of whistles, bangs and fizzles.

A soft glow filled Kaiba's eyes and he nodded, his lips curving into a satisfied smile. "I feel the same way," he mouthed back, his voice completely inaudible.

Atem laughed in his joy, lowering his mouth to Kaiba's ear as he said, "Happy New Year, Kaiba."

And in the moment, when he was about to pull away, Kaiba captured his lips in a tender kiss, conveying his mutual feelings in a way that words could not, saying into Atem's ear in kind, "Happy new life... Atem."

_ ~FIN~ _

**Author's Note:**

> This is a belated Christmas gift for my friend Hanako who has been so very wonderful to me. In addition to many amusing and interesting conversations that we had last year, through her I was able to realize one of my dreams of having my writing be read by people all over the world. Our collaboration, a doujinshi / light novel of my story "For One Night Only", completely ran out of stock at the Millennium Battle 17 Yu-Gi-Oh only event in Tokyo this past month.
> 
> I would also like to thank my friends, as well as my readers here on AO3 for your love and support. Seeing your kudos and reading your comments was one of the best things for me in 2016. Thank you so very much～♡
> 
> ~~
> 
> If you're interested in my writing process you may follow me at @maidenwrites on Twitter. I post excerpts from upcoming/in-progress stories, and tweet about major writing progress updates. (My R-18 writing updates, adult-only excerpts and explicit musings can be found at @maidenmuses.)


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